Sweet Serenity

Life, with all your uncertainties, how terrifying you are
Your pain often overshadows the joys
Always reminding us of our vunerable states
Laughing at us as we fall apart and must rebuild

But you O sweet serenity of death
Always so welcoming to embrace
As I cry out in pain and my fears overwhelm
It's your sweet voice that comforts
Reminding me of our fleeting shared moments
And the calm that you are

I'll never forget the strength you've provided
The sweetest peace I've ever experienced
As one day I'll join your side, never to part again

Haunted and Scarred

You entered my life in a gust of bravo with your eye on the prize
Chaos and pain in the guise of care and concern
Only to be revealed when I was at my weakest
Then you won what you had sought

A cycle of despair and hope intertwined
This time will be different, this was the last
You had me by the throat
All I could do was grin and not let on

You come in so many forms
Each time altering but always the same
To break me down for your control
Hurt and confused you continued to win

To break free of your grasp was my prize
You still haunt me, in your many forms
Although stronger now
I remain haunted, scarred of the memories

Calamity

To call me back again, to force me back
Is against my will, against my soul
You long to hurt me, to bend me to your way

You surround me, smother me
If only for a moment
I gasp for air, claw for release
To be free of you, O calamity of mine

You may break me in a thousand pieces
I will not succumb to your ways, to your manipulations
I will not, no, I will not

My spirit will not remain caged
I will break forth with new found hope
As I am called into the light
Basked in it's wondrous glory that is all
I will know I am free, I am free

Haunted

Too many memories lurk in the darkness simply waiting
Past pains deeply etched in the crevasses of the mind
Silhouettes of persons and times emerge from the shadows
The psyche's pleas for mercy go unheeded

Consumed with cruel vestiges of time
The haunting presence forever burned into my soul
Memories transfigured into forms of terror
Events in time and persons once trusted

A disturbed mind so tormented
Unwarranted vigils to the past now indelible
My mind's futile escape from itself
Leaves me clinging to shattered moments of refuge

Sweet refuge, hiding me from encroaching shadows of time
Your watchful eye lingers only awhile
In those moments, the hauntings are forgotten
Until the tide turns and the mind is flooded once again with darkness

I am left forever haunted

Sweet Swallow

How far have you flown sweet swallow?
How far will your journey be?
What marvels have you seen?
Whose pains have you listened to and whose
cares have you lifted to the sky?

Sing me your cares and lighten your load,
For your heart will become heavy if not
Sing me your hopes and dreams,
Offer them to the sky, may they come true!

Fly away sweet swallow, see where your travels
lead you and think of me, sweet swallow.

Never Ending

Closure never comes as the dawn breaks forth

Revealing the lurking shadows of haunting pasts

Spirits of yesterday laugh and mock, taunting

Sending reminders of what was once and forever more

Prayers and pleas lose all power

Menacing hope is empty and cruel

Warmth turns to coldness as the shadows close in

Darkness surrounds and I am no more

Standing Still

Physical and emotional pain consume me,

Depression becomes my new companion.

Life turns about me as I stand still.

I can't move, I can't get out.

Hatred, resentment, and revenge surround me,

Trying to become my new best friends.

My heart leaps for joy at the thought of death.

And I stand still, not able to move as the pain,

Depression, hatred, revenge, and death close in on me, trapping me.

Healing Begun

Since 1996, the healing has just now begun.

The physical, emotional, and spiritual pain undone.

Pain will never end, as memories won't disappear.

But the pain is now much easier to bear with God

Standing beside me. How much easier could it be?

Love and redemption ends the pain as I walk down

The long road of memory lane. Even through the

Worst times, the pain isn't as bad as before. 

Because the healing has begun.